Pursuit of Happiness?

You know, the common mistake that we all make, we un-intentionally/intentionally or consciously/unconsciously, thinking that we could find and build happiness through the search and found of romance, career, material, relationships whatever it is that's your cup of happy tea. This is a big big NO NO.

I have been reading books. A lot of answers came to me and the passages and the scripts and the messages seem to be the reflections of what life I had lived for the past 10 years. Still lost in the depth among all these intricate emotions, asking which's real, which's reality? At least I have come to a clear sense that, nothing is ever to be built upon my life but MY LIFE itself. I had built my life based on the things that I thought I could find and retain happiness, the things that I mentioned above, and no surprise that they have all failed. If you are reading this, let me take a bet that you perhaps, at sometimes some point in your life are feeling like this.

Like I mention earlier, I have failed to live life and find happiness because as I was doing just that I was actually living my life BASE on something/someone, which will forever turn out to be not big enough for life itself. The BASE/BASES are just not big enough. Hence when these bases tumble, you collapse with them.

How do I live life base on life itself? This is yet to be done. In hope I wait to create something better. One thing I tell you for sure my friend, in order to take that first step, you've gotta take those bases of yours out of your equation to happiness. Now don't get me wrong here, I am not asking you to shave and be a nun/monk. You can have all those but they shouldn't be your living water.

I see no need now to shakespear someone who is a literature idiot. Same thing in romance, your work, the people around you. Ha, I have already stopped being nice. Do you ever have this feeling of having to put on masks in front of the most intimate person to you in your life? Sucks, doesn't it? Example, you are damn sian and had just had the worst day but then your loved one ask you to drive to the food center in the neighborhood to buy the mee jian kueh and only the mee jian kueh from that particular stall because the mom wants to eat.
3 outcomes -
No.1 You would willingly and happily and fast fast go because you want to impress both. Reason being you are just in love, and you have plenty to burn
No. 2 You would go but reluctantly, leaving the house mumbling to yourself aying something like "all the troubles...." Slightly impatient but then returned home feeling okay. Reason being, love started to wear out because now plenty of realities have sunk in
No. 3 You would directly say no. or you would drag yourself to go out and complete the task but then thinking to yourself that perhaps you need to get out of either the house or the relationship

Whew, my wake up call was in 2007, like hell it was! A huge lesson learned but I paid the price of my youth. Thanks to that though, I realized the only lovable person in this world is myself. Yeah, the only one that's worth loving is yourself indeed, my friend, but, you already know this, don't you?

So, you think you know me?